Six money questions to ask your partner before you commit

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Before you start sharing a Netflix account and thinking about moving in together, take some time to do something even more important, if decidedly less fun: Have a talk about finances.

Yes, it sounds like a buzzkill, but making a habit of discussing your shared goals and attitudes toward money may help strengthen your romance—especially in the long run.

By starting an honest and open conversation about this often touchy issue now, you’re less likely to run into major money-related road bumps later.

Here are six questions to help you come up with a financial game plan, zoom in on potential differences to address and, help alleviate the kinds of issues that can lead to both financial and relationship headaches.

Sure, it’s an unlikely scenario, but by comparing your answers with your partner, you’ll get a sense of what kind of money personality each of you have and how you’ll need to negotiate on shared financial goals. Say your partner wants to invest his or her hypothetical windfall in the stock market while you’d prefer to splurge on a big trip. Maybe you split it and each use half for your own goal, but maybe you decide to invest it all now, with a goal of spending your returns on a vacation down the road.

There’s no right answer. The point is to get you thinking about how you each think about money individually, and how you might handle it together. This is also often a good place to start the money conversation. Since it’s a hypothetical question you’re less likely to be defensive or emotional about your answer.

In other words, how did your parents or other role models deal with money issues? Was money a source of stress and family fights or was it rarely discussed? Often our upbringing colors our relationship with money, and it makes sense to understand each other’s perspective.

One approach when your money DNA is different from one another: agree to touch base before buying a big-ticket item. On the other hand, try to find middle ground when one of you may be less inclined to spend on a night out or on a vacation. By getting these issues out in the open, you can pinpoint areas that may require compromise and learn to appreciate the financial acumen you each bring to the table.

This one may make you both uncomfortable, but when it comes to debts (college and/or credit cards) or family obligations (such as a financial responsibility for a sick parent) honesty is the way to go. You don’t want to be surprised with an outstanding bill or an account in arrears when attempting to buy a home in the future, for example.

Remember, there’s no shame in carrying some debt, if you have a realistic and strategic plan to pay it down.

Whether you set up joint checking and savings accounts, maintain separate accounts or go with a combination of the two is up to you. But you should discuss that decision ahead of time, including how much of your income you will each contribute to joint expenses, as well as who will be responsible for the back end. It might make sense to split up the administrative tasks. Either way, make sure you’re covering everything and that you’re both comfortable with the division of labor and expenses.